Running in the Rain
by smilee.shortee
Summary: Suze and Jesse are both affected by Jesse's stupid mistake... Back story inside. JesseXSuze, both POV. It's just a short songfic that I came up with on the spot. Review!


Okay, I _love_ this song, Running in the Rain, by Hinder. I _love _Hinder! So I decided to write this, and it may not be the best. I'm not sure that's how people cut themselves and all that, but I tried to make it as believable as possible. I hope it's not to gory or cheesy. Tell me what you think!

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Heres a bit of a back story:

Jesse and Suze are in love - duh! But Jesse gives into his persistent father and agrees to marry Maria. He leaves Suze, thinking that he'll get over her. Nope. Both are affected for the worse by his terrible mistake.

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**Running in the Rain**

**Hinder**

_**She cuts herself to forget him**_

_**And every time her wounds get deeper**_

_**Tonights the night she's gonna she'd her skin**_

_**Cause she's thinkin that he doesn't need her**_

_**She's wishin all this would end**_

_**And she's gonna try to take her own life again**_

_**Wait, I know your hearts been shattered**_

_**But there's someone worth the wait**_

_**There's so much more that matters**_

_**And I know you will be alright, just try**_

_**To love the little things in life**_

_**Like running in the rain**_

**Suze**

The rain seeped through my bathroom window, soaking my jeans. I sat on the floor, the razor delicately balanced in my palm as I pulled up my sleeve. It's easy to see my previous slashes. They're ugly. Like me.

I took a deep breath, and brought the razor to my skin.

The blood, the pain, the cold water, it all helps me forget _him_. No, not Paul, who broke up with me for Kelly Prescott. I couldn't care less. _Him_. The one I'd do _anything_ for. The one who I'd give my life and soul for. The one who left me for his cousin.

Sucks to be me, huh?

I moved to my other arm. I'm not as practiced with my left hand. As I brought the knife to my arm, my hand wobbled and the gash became deeper than I intended.

"Shit!" I swore. The pain was more than I'd ever dealt with.

It felt good.

I continued to lacerate myself, silent tears mingling with the puddle of water and blood on the floor. I'd have to clean it up later.

After a while I looked at my blade. It was sharp and red. Sharp enough to kill.

I stared at it, contemplating. Who'd miss me? _He _wouldn't. Paul wouldn't. Jake, Brad, and David?... Maybe. CeeCee and Adam, probably. Mom and Andy, for sure.

I brought it to rest before my chest. They'd find my body here. Who's they? My apartment neighbors? My non-exsistent friends? Maybe the smell would draw them in. Maybe I'd just rot here.

Not that I care.

"I'm going to do it," I said, to no one in particular. Maybe to myself. Maybe to God. Maybe to _him._

God I love him. I love him with every fiber of my body. I pray every night that he'll come back through my door. That he'll come back and beg for my forgiveness. He never does. It's been seven months of this hell. And I'm getting tired of it.

The rain grew heavier. I slowly got up, pulling down my sleeves. My shirt was black - the blood made no mark but dark imprints. I looked out the window, down at the wet cement.

We had danced out there, once. It had been raining, and _he_ had taken my hand, laughing, and spun me around and into his arms. He told me he loved me.

I believed him.

I stared at the path leading to the park, our favorite place, and I knew what I had to do. I dropped the razor and stepped out of the bathroom, heading straight to the door.

_I'm going to run in the rain. _

_ And I'm never going to stop until I find you, Jesse. _

_**He drinks alone to forget her**_

_**And every time the room starts spinning**_

_**He starts to thinkin 'bout where they were**_

_**When she told him that she doesn't need him**_

_**He's wishin all this would end**_

_**And he's gonna try to take his own life again**_

_**Wait, I know your hearts been shattered**_

_**But there's someone worth the wait**_

_**There's so much more that matters**_

_**And I know you will be alright, just try**_

_**To love the little things in life**_

_**Like running in the rain**_

**Jesse**

The bar smells of smoke and, well, alcohol. Go figure.

I never used to drink like this. Sure, I wasn't opposed to a drink here and there. But I never went all out like this.

The bartender and his waitresses know my name. They also know what time I come in, and how much I want. That's how bad it is.

I only started drink like this because I lost _her_. No, not Maria, who was cheating on me with Felix Diego. I couldn't care less. _Her_. The one I'd do _anything_ for. The one who I'd give my life and soul for. The one I left because I was stupid to think I could live a life with Maria. It was an arranged marriage that had been planned when I was six. I never really loved her. I just wanted to please my father.

I realized my mistake. I realized I couldn't exist without _her_. But I haven't the balls to go and ask for her forgiveness.

Last I heard, she was with that _bastardo_, Paul Slater.

I hope she's happy. I know I will never be.

Not without her.

And that is why I'm so familiar with this bar. Each time the room spins, I can forget everything for just a little while. All the pain and heartbreak is gone, and I can imagine that I'll be going home to _her_ in the morning.

I can't begin to explain to you how depressing it is to wake up alone at home the next day.

I haven't seen _her_ in seven long months. Each day rips my heart into yet another piece and throws it at the wall. Soon, I'll have nothing left.

Maybe I should just finish the job instead of waiting it out.

I've tried to take my life before. I just couldn't do it. Every time, _her_ face would appear, loving and concerned.

"Don't do it," she'd whisper. And I couldn't defy my angel.

I only see her when I'm drunk. There's another reason I drink.

"I'm going to do it," I said, to no one in particular. Maybe to myself. Maybe to God. Maybe to _her._

_ Nombre de Dios,_ I love her. I love her with every thing I have, and everything I don't. I pray that I'll have the strength to ask her for her forgiveness. That she'll tell me she loves me. It's been seven months of this hell. And I'm getting tired of it.

"It's raining pretty heavily out there," Willy noted, glancing at the window. I grunted.

I reached for the glass in front of me, ready to drink out my pain, when I heard the door open. I turned, for curiosity's sake, to see Slater waltzing in with a fake blonde on his arm.

I felt my blood drain from my face.

I stood quickly, and the stool flipped over, quieting the bar.

"How dare you?" I hissed, my eyes narrowed to slits.

"Now boys..." Willy warned.

Paul turned to take me in, and smirked.

"How dare I _what_, de Silva?"

"How dare you go behind _her_ back with _this_?" I said, motioning to the glowering girl.

Paul shrugged.

"Well, I think I'm doing a bit better than you, considering I didn't break up with her for my cousin."

I clenched my fists.

"You were supposed to be there for her," I said, my face flushed.

"What, like you were?" he spat. "She's broke. She doesn't want to live anymore anyway. Why should I spend my time around a walking zombie?"

My face paled once more.

"Yeah, _you_ did that, de Silva." Paul said, a smug smile forming on his face. "She's beyond repair, in my opinion. What a loss." He shrugged, and pulled out a chair for himself.

Before he could seat himself, my fist had knocked him into the next table. He staggered back.

"Hey!" Willy yelled. "There'll be no fightin' in _my_ bar!"

I was already out the door. The rain reminded me of that time we had danced in the rain. My heart gave a mighty squeeze.

I began towards the park, our favorite place, my chest heaving.

_I'm going to run in the rain. _

_ And I'm never going to stop until I find you, Susannah. _

_**She's wishin all this would end**_

_**And he's gonna try to take his own life again**_

_**Wait, I know your hearts been shattered**_

_**But there's someone worth the wait**_

_**There's so much more that matters**_

_**And I know you will be alright, just try**_

_**To love the little things in life**_

_**Like running in the rain**_

**Suze**

I ran hard against the rain. I was beyond soaked.

Some people think rain is romantic. I used to think that too. But it's not so romantic when you're alone.

Not at all.

I ran past the stores and into the large park. I ran past the many benches. I ran past the trees. I cried the entire time.

Finally, I slipped a patch of grass and landed on my butt. I cried out as my arms hit the ground. I felt the cuts opening up.

I didn't bother to get up. Why should I?

"Dammit, Jesse," I muttered.

I curled up into a fetal position on the rocky floor, and let the rain consume me.

**Jesse**

I ran hard against the rain. I was beyond soaked.

I didn't know why I was here. I just knew I had to be.

I sprinted past the creek and the playground. I headed toward the field that Susannah and I had many a time eaten a picnic on.

I sighted a dark figure on the ground, a few feet from a large tree. It was a person, I was sure of it.

I ran to it, growing more concerned by the moment. I could make out some red on the dirt. Could it be blood?

It was a girl. I could tell by the slim figure and the long chestnut hair so like Susannah's.

She was crying. Her slight shoulders shook, and she was murmuring something.

Something that sounded like my name.

**Suze**

I heard the quick footsteps, but I didn't move. I wondered why they wouldn't just leave me alone.

It probably looked strange for me to be lying on the ground, but I didn't care. Noting mattered anymore. I only wanted Jesse. His name escaped my lips.

"Su... Susannah?" His rich voice whispered. Great, I'm hearing things. I think that's one sign of going crazy.

I nodded my head anyway. I didn't care if I was going crazy, as long as I was with him.

Suddenly I was scooped into strong arms and pulled from the mud. I was pressed against a chest I knew all to well.

It couldn't be.

I didn't risk opening my eyes. Instead I buried my face into his neck. He smelt the same as ever, but with a hint of alcohol. Why would I add that detail to my imaginary Jesse?

Maybe I was dying. Maybe this was my heaven, here, in Jesse's arms. I wouldn't mind.

"Oh, _querida_," he whispered, his face in my hair. It was nice to hear him to call me _querida_ again. It had been so long... "Why are you out here?"

"I'm dying," I said simply. "Don't you know?"

He stiffened.

**Jesse**

"Dying of what?" I asked, trying to keep the panic from my voice. She couldn't be dying... I looked at the blood embedded in the mud, and I forgot to breathe.

"I'm not sure." she said, her lips grazing my neck. "But it's been happening since you... left."

I sighed.

"Me too, _querida_. Are your arms okay?"

She shrugged against my chest.

"I tripped."

I tried to get her to turn her face towards me.

"Susannah, please, look at me. I need to see that your okay." I needed to see her eyes. Those green, vibrant eyes that made my insides turn to mush.

She shook her head.

**Suze**

"Why?" he asked, his grip tightening.

"Because, if I open my eyes, you'll disappear, and I'll be dead, alone and in hell again. Can't you just let me have this moment?"

Jesse chuckled half-heartedly.

"Susannah, you're not dying. I'm here. You can feel me, can't you? I'm here, and you're here. Please," he took my hand and placed it over his cheek. "look at me."

I sighed. This was it.

I opened my eyes, and was met by the most beautiful brown ones on the earth.

**Jesse**

"Jesse," _mi querida_ whispered, her eyes wide. So beautiful. "You're here."

"I'm here," I agreed.

"Why?" she asked, blinking.

"I don't know," I said truthfully. "I just had to come... I needed to see you, and God led me here. To you."

She smiled.

"I needed to see you too," she said, and then a pained look crossed her face.

"Shouldn't you be with your... wife?" She asked. I flinched from the rejected look in her eyes.

"_Querida_," I whispered. "I never married Maria. I couldn't go through it." Her eyes grew wide again.

**Suze**

He never married her! Did that mean...

"Are you with someone else?" I asked, looking away. His wet face was sad. I still couldn't believe he was here.

"I could never be with anyone else," he said, turning my head. "But you."

To say I was surprised was an understatement. To say I was happy would be the understatement of the century.

"Jesse," I murmured. "Am I dreaming?"

He shook his head and smiled.

"No, _querida_, because if it were, I don't know how I'd continue to be."

I looked down and stepped from his arms.

"I was so... hurt, when you left-"

"I know, Susannah, and I can't begin to explain how sorry I am. I love you, and it was silly of me to think I could live with Maria at my side. I was selfish. I wanted my father to be proud. I thought I could forget you, _querida_, but I couldn't. It was impossible. I... became troubled and began a terrible habit."

I kicked the ground.

"So did I," I said, and looking into his eyes, I knew I could trust him. I hoped so.

I pulled up my sleeves, and he gasped.

"Oh, Susannah... what...?"

"I wanted to die," I said simply. "I cannot live without you, Jesse. I love you."

He smiled sadly, and picked up my arm, softly kissing it.

"I'm so sorry," he said. I bit my lip. "Can you ever forgive me?"

I nodded my head slowly.

"I love you," I whispered. He smiled at me, his dark eyes sparkling and his face alight.

"_Te amo, mi querida_. _Soy para siempre el suya." __**(A/N: Forever I am yours) **_

"You know what?" I said a little later, as he held my hand.

"Hmm?" He asked, nuzzling my hair.

"I really love the rain."

He smiled against my skin.

"I really love you."

_**Running in the rain**_

_**But I know you will be alright, just try**_

_**To love the little things in life**_

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Alrighty! Tell me what you think! :D**_


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